Tree-Fitty

I just thought of this and had to look it up but look at the entry below for an update.....this is an episode of south park btw....

THOMAS: Say, would you crackers like to hear about the time we saw the Loch Ness monster?

STAN: No, that's okay.

THOMAS: Ooh, it must've been about seven, eight years ago. Me and the little lady was out on this boat, you see, all alone at night, when all of a sudden this huge creature, this giant crustacean from the paleolithic era, comes out of the water.

NELLIE: We was so scared, Lord have mercy, I jumped up in the boat and I said "Thomas, what on earth is that creature?!"

THOMAS: It stood above us looking down with these big red eyes,-

NELLIE: Oh, it was so scary!

THOMAS: -and I yelled. I said, "What do you want from us, monster?!" And the monster bent down and said, "...Uh I need about tree-fitty."

KYLE: What's tree-fitty?

THOMAS: Three dollars and fifty cents.

NELLIE: Tree-fitty.

STAN: He wanted money?

THOMAS: That's right. I said "I ain't giving you no tree-fitty you goddamn Loch Ness monster! Get your own goddamn money!"

NELLIE: I gave him a dollar.

THOMAS: She gave him a dollar.

NELLIE: I thought he'd go away if I gave him a dollar.

THOMAS: Well of course he's not gonna go away, Nellie! You gave him a dollar, he's gonna assume you got more!

[some time passes...]

THOMAS: ...And that was the third time we saw the Loch Ness monster. Then one time, I believe it was July-

NELLIE: August.

THOMAS: -August. There's a knock on the door. I open it, and there's this cute little girl scout-

NELLIE: And she was so adorable, with the little pig tails and all.

THOMAS: -And she says to me, "How would you like to buy some cookies?" And I said "Well, what kind do you have?" She had thin mints, graham crunchy things-

NELLIE: Raisin oatmeal.

THOMAS: -Raisin oatmeal, and I said "We'll take a graham crunch. How much will that be?" And she looks at me and she says, "...Uh I need about tree-fitty."

NELLIE: ...Tree-fitty.

THOMAS: Well, it was about that time that I notice that girl scout was about eight stories tall and was a crustacean from the protozoic era.

NELLIE: The Loch Ness monster.

THOMAS: I said, "Dammit monster! Get off my lawn! I ain't giving you no tree-fitty!" It said, "how about just two-fitty?" I said, "Oh, now it's only two-fitty!! What?! Is there a sale on Loch Ness munchies or something?!"

NELLIE: Lord, he was angry.

THOMAS: Damn right, I was angry!

NELLIE: Not you, the monster. He was about to kick your ass.

THOMAS: Aah, shut your mouth, woman!

[some time passes...]

THOMAS: ...And then these aliens had me up on their ship, right? They was probing me and all that.

NELLIE: We had taco salad that night.

THOMAS: Don't matter what we had for dinner woman! Now this alien had a big head and big black eyes, and it was all bent over me. I said, "What do you want from me, alien?!" and do you know what he said?

NELLIE: Tree-fitty.

THOMAS: Uh. Let me tell the damn story now! He said, "tree-fitty." And so I realized I that it wasn't no alien, it was that God-damned Loch Ness monster again, trying to trick me into giving him tree-fitty by dressing up like an alien. Don't that just beat all?!

NELLIE: I had just given him tree-fitty the week before.

THOMAS: What?! You gave that monster another damn tree-fitty?!

NELLIE: He tricked me.

THOMAS: Well no wonder the damn monster keeps coming back to our house! You keep giving it tree-fitty!