Quite Contemplation

First, a small update.

God of War 2 was awesome. I read that the end of the series will tell the untold (and uncreated 'til now) story of the death of the Ancient religion of Rome and Greece; in other words, the death of all the gods, demi-gods, and titans, and I welcome such a story. I always felt that the introduction of Catholicism, which is what truly destroyed it, was lack-lustered for such grand Mythos.

Wild Arms 4 - I love this series. Basically, a fantasy filled wild west. ATM, I am unimpressed. This one seems like they just cranked it out as fast as they could. In 30 mins of game play, I already have all the main characters (I play RPG's real slow when I first start). I am willing to give it an additional shot since it has good prequels.

The last of the Kekko Kamen series was actually pretty good; Kekko Kamen New!. The others are repeats of Quest for Egg Salad, i.e. repetitive broken discs.

Ghost Rider - I wanted to see it again to find out if I really wanted it...I can live without it.

Bridge to Terabithia - I cried...again (teared up is more like it...I knew what was coming). It is a good story and Anna Sophia Robb is such a talented actress. I kinda want to add this to my collection but I think maybe the book would be a better buy. Choices, choices.

Okay, to the knit and grit. The impromptu New Year's Eve party was a hit, even if only 9 people showed. I had a great time but I noticed one thing. I felt a hint of embarrassment in the back of my mind. I probably wouldn't have noticed it if it wasn't for one of our guests lack of concern about there own idiosyncrasies. I have gotten much better in loving my differences, but there is still the feeling that false or negative judgement is placed upon me for them and I feel somewhat guilty that I embrace them at all. I guess it is that small part of me that wants to be normal. I have fought hard against that urge and have won many a battle, more than I have lost. I feel tired of small victories though. It is time for a big W. I have three major confrontations to ... ... ... confront. Credit Debt, Weight, Generalized Laziness. If I break one, than all shall fall. Generalized Laziness is one that I score many defeats on but it continues to come back for more due to the strength of the others. I must fight on 2 fronts while I hold the 3rd at bay, but the opposition is strong. It will take strategy and cunning as well as quick thinking. I must also be prepared for future obstacles. Bare in mind these are not New Year's resolutions for these will all take longer than a year to conquer. It will take a life time.

In addition to that, I am a pervert. I always have been and I have recently (last few years) been proud to be one. I do not flaunt it, though. As a matter of fact, I don't consider myself a pervert at all, I consider it cultured and mature. An open mind of acceptance in differences. I do my best to not pass judgement; and if I do, it is never one thing but an abundance of options from simple observations. Let's take an extreme for an example: Bestiality. Now I have seen bestiality, so the questions are 'why would I watch it' and 'do I enjoy it'. Let's tackle the ladder; I have never conducted bestiality so I have never had the opportunity to decide if I enjoy it or not (see, open minded answer. I don't mention whether I condone it or not; I gave a true and neutral answer with no judgement passed on the topic). As for the former part of the questions; I have watched it because there are people (not freaks or monsters) who do enjoy it and I wish to observe why. Now, for my abundance of judgements. Why do they do it: drugs, money, loneliness, an acceptable (in their minds) alternative to release a pent-up urge to have sex that isn't masturbation, forced/co-hearsed (some people really do mean 'yes' when they say 'no'), a true love for the animal (extreme furries, possibly), perversion, and many more. It could be one to all reasons why someone would conduct bestiality. 'Would I do it', I can honestly say no; however, were the lives of others (not myself, that answer is still no) in the balance on whether I would have sex with an animal, and I mean 100% proof that people (I care for) will die if I don't have sex with an animal, well,... that would require more quite contemplation... ... ...good thing its quite nil that it would happen, ... ... ...but you have to keep the possibility open...you never know...