The Drunk Tank

This pretty much sums it up for me. Below are some Q's and A's for the boys at Red vs. Blue. I enjoyed it.


The drunks are back for another week of burning bridges. Carrying a torch this week is Mr. Michael J Caboose himself, Joel Heyman.

Blizzard recently reported that World of Warcraft now has ten million active subscribers.

Burnie -- I am amazed by the numbers, but I trust that I will be even more amazed by the horribly nerdy response that Gus will provide in answer to this question.

Gus -- Great, as if there wasn't already enough competition mining for Adamantite in Nagrand.

Burnie -- And there it is.

Geoff -- So basically Blizzard reported that there are exactly 10 Million PC gamers left. When's the Government going to step in and break up that monopoly?

Jason -- I think that Gus is still an outcast. Have fun with your ten million little friends while me and the rest of the 6,590,000,000 people on the planet play sports and talk to members of the opposite sex.

Matt -- Yeah, but how many Toyotas have they sold?

Joel -- Could this be the reason we have to ask Question 2?

Give us a tip to prepare for the upcoming recession.

Joel -- Stop playing World of Warcraft.

Geoff -- Put your money in your mattress, then drive your mattress to the International Bank Of Geoff's House. Deposit it in my garage, along with the first month's payment of donuts, and come back in 12 years.

Gus -- A zombie plan can easily be adapted to also take care of you in the event of government collapse.

Burnie -- They say that the entertainment industry does not suffer during econmic downturns. So, I suggest that everyone convert their volatile dollars into rock-solid Red vs Blue DVDs as soon as possible. It's an investment!

Matt -- I have a foolproof plan that's been reported in some extremely prestigious economic publications. Perhaps you've heard of S.U.M.M.S.? If not, send me money and I'll tell you all about it.

Jason -- That article claims we went through a recession in 2001. I was 22 years old that year and I got by just fine. So my advice is to be 22. Everyone else, you're screwed.

Lost starts up again on Thursday. Any predictions?

Burnie -- I predict that on Friday and every Friday for the next two months, I will be surrounded by wailing jackasses screaming "DON'T TALK ABOUT LOST! I HAVEN'T SEEN THE NEW EPISODE YET!"

Gus -- I predict that three or four long running questions will finally be answered...by introducing thirty or forty new questions.

Geoff -- I predict that there was never an island at all, and that the entire show was a dream by Walt, who is really Jacob, who once grifted Sawyer's father, who was actually Hurley's father, who used to be a woman named Shannon, and that woman was in love with Desmond, who is actually Jack, which makes Locke Jack's grandmother.

Jason -- My prediction is a 1:10 answer-to-question ratio. Based on that math, call me in 7 years to let me know why I watched Season 1.

Matt -- Patriots 31 - 28. John Locke kicks the winning field goal.

Joel -- Surprise script revision reveals twist that has all characters marching in a circle for 42 minutes.