Quiet contemplation

So our cat, Vega, came back from the vet on Monday. She was hit by a car on Friday night. I didn't even mention this because earlier that night I was over at my mom's discussing what to do about our 17 year old dog, who has cataracts, arthritis, tooth decay, intestinal disease, and a gum infection. Yet still a heart like a horse (for his age). Dealing with another potentially dieing animal in the same night was...well...I kinda block it out for a while. Anyway, my dog might be in a little pain (mostly due to the arthritis) but Vega got it a lot worse. Miraculously no broken bones; possibly a bruised bladder and/or kidney. The biggest problem is motor function. She can move each leg fine but it seems the muscles have difficultly. She can't stand, can't walk, can't even crawl. She is able to move around by embedding her claws into whatever and pulling herself forward. She can eat if hand feed. The doctor says it might be spinal shock but otherwise he doesn't what else he could do. I got very upset about this. This doctor didn't seem very good by some of the description I got from Becky. Anyway, we have deal with her being like this for at least a week. If she doesn't improve, we may have to take her to the vet hospital. I can't tell yet if she has neurological damage or just drugged (since I don't know how long the drugs last or when they were administered). For the moment we have an invalide cat...this is striking a cord with me...a bit of like "I'm not gonna take care of her" sort of feeling. I know it is because my dad suffered a stroke and living with a semi-paralyzed human being was hard enough. But this is a creature that doesn't have the facilities of doing things for itself. A feel ashamed for the feelings but not regret. I help take care of my dad and due to the neurological damage (and him just being him) he was rarely grateful, even mean sometimes (because he could do everything by himself, I get it). I don't it kinda scares me to take care of her. Not that fear anything that she might do or I might do...just that I don't want this to be a "forever til she dies" thing. Or a situation where we can't afford to continue caring for her and will have to put her down...
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Sometimes I hate my cold heart.